Sleep Training Part Deux

Sleep Training Day 2

Our adventures with sleep training continue. Yesterday at daycare, I was told that Jellybean was extremely cranky. Completely unusual for him since most of the time, the ladies there are raving about how "chill" my baby is. He really only cries when he's hungry or super tired but I guess yesterday he was cranky most of the day and even getting mad at his toys! This kid LOVES the toys at daycare. When I fed him at lunch, it took longer than usual to get him down for his afternoon nap. I usually feed him and then sit in the rocking chair until he doses off in my arms. Not a bad way to spend a lunch break! The hardest part is definitely putting him in his crib at daycare and then trudging back off to work. 

We got home at around 1730 last night and I can't say Jellybean was more or less cranky than normal for that evening. I was definitely much more needy with him! I took every opportunity I could to cuddle with that kid to make up for our lack of cuddles the night before. I think one of the hardest things about putting Jellybean to sleep in his own bed is the lost time I have with him. Since I work all day, he spends most of his time at daycare. When we get home, I really only get an hour or two to interact with him before it's bedtime. I counted on those co-sleeping hours with him to make up for our missing bonding time during the day. Now, I really only see my kiddo for a few hours and then at night I have to use all my willpower to stay in bed and ignore the screams and my urge to snuggle my sweet son. It kind of makes me mad the more I think about it. Two hours a day with my kid? I guess if you include the time I'm using to get ready in the morning and our afternoon lunch breaks... maybe it bumps it up to 3 hours a day. THAT'S IT. I spend a measly three hours a day with my son and then let him wail it out at night instead of sleep soundly in my arms. I can't think of any mother who would be happy with that miniscule amount of time with their kid. Now's the time to establish that bond with him and I feel like I'm totally missing out and doing him an injustice as a mom. Maybe if I didn't work all day and could make up for that time with  during the day....but I'm a working mom and right now, there's nothing I can do about it. 

I don't want my son to be an accessory to my life. I don't want him to be something I deal with and go through the motions of feeding/bathing/changing/entertaining him so he doesn't cry only because I'm responsible for keeping this 8 month old tiny human alive. The last thing I ever want to think of him as is something that gets in the way of me spending my days sitting on the couch watching TV and surfing the internet. How fulfilling of a life would THAT be anyway? I want Jellybean to be fully immersed in my life and me in his. I want to interact with my kid, teach him new things, expose him to new adventures. I never want to think raising him is a chore I need to check off on my daily sheet in order to make it to the next day. I want him to know that I'm the one he goes to when he's scared, or sad, or if he wants to share a happy moment. How am I supposed to accomplish any of that with just 3 hours a day? 

Once he's sleeping soundly through the night and I'm back from Alabama, I'm quite honestly considering putting him back in the family bed. My last post talked about all the benefits of co-sleeping anyway and if that didn't convince anyone that it's BETTER to co-sleep, then...I really don't care I'm gonna do it anyway. If I have to buy a king sized bed so that we can all more comfortably sleep together, then so be it. 


Last Night's Schedule
1845: Bath Time
1900: Nurse
1930: Fell asleep in Pack N Play
2130: Woke up crying
2140: Back to sleep on his own
0054: Woke up crying 
0105: Back to sleep on his own 
0145: Woke up crying/nursed
0200: Back to sleep 
0400: Woke up crying
0410: Back to sleep on his own 
0530: Woke up crying, nursed, ready to start the day!  

I'm definitely not as tired today and Jellybean has done a much better job at putting himself to sleep on his own. I sure do miss that kid though. I was at least 45 minutes late to work today because once Jellybean and I were up, I spent A LOT of time snuggling in bed with him. I didn't want to move. His smell, baby soft skin, and adorable coos are enough reason to stay home all day. 

Jellybean cuddles pretty much make my world go round.