Waiting For Tater Tot
I feel like I got so lucky the first time around. I never had to play the "is this it???" game. I wasn't even expecting Jellybean to come for another 4 weeks so when I water broke early on the morning of 29 March 2014, I was completely surprised.
This time around things are totally different. I'm 38 weeks and 3 days now and still waiting around for my little Tater Tot. Having Jellybean so early has put me on edge since I hit 36 weeks but this second boy of mine seems to be marching to the beat of his own drummer. I wonder if it will reflect in their personalities too? Jellybean is very impatient! Does this mean Tater Tot will be a little more level headed? Who knows.
I hope my water breaks so I know for sure it's time to go in, but that only happens to such a small percentage of women. Chances are, I'm going to have to just ride out the contraction wave until it gets unbearable. For the last two weeks now my contractions have become much more frequent. My hips are in so much pain. My lower back has started to hurt. My feet are more swollen. My pelvis feels like it's carrying the weight of 10 watermelons, not to mention trying to keep all 10 watermelons from falling out.
Every time a contraction comes, I get a little excited. Is this it? Will this set of contractions finally last and get worse and worse? Nope! They never get within 5 minutes of each other, they never last an hour, and they never get stronger and more painful. They're just uncomfortable and annoying. Part of me worries that I'm going to wait too long and not make it to the hospital or somehow harm my baby. I don't want to be the mom that cried wolf, or in this case, labor, and rush to L&D every time I think I'm having decent contractions. I'm waiting until they're so painful I can't really walk or talk through the pain....I hope my high pain tolerance doesn't hurt me in this case. But at the same time, I know what active labor contractions feel like. I was able to talk through them when I was in labor with Jellybean but the words coming out of my mouth were four letters long and not very appropriate. I can still carry an adult conversation when I'm going through these contractions, but it's been happening for 2 weeks now! What a tease.
When I go to bed at night and I'm having contractions I think....ok, maybe tonight's the night that I'll wake up in horrible pain and have to go to the hospital. But when I wake up to use the restroom and feel fine or when I wake up to get ready for work I'm disappointed that I made it through the night yet again.
Then there are nights like last night where the pregnancy hormones just get the best of me and I have a mini meltdown. I was laying in bed trying to "relax" though some mild contractions and cuddling with Jellybean and I thought to myself, what if tonight is his last night as an only child? What if this is our last night of silent silly playful cuddling where he's the only thing on my mind? I had such an emotional pregnancy with him that the bond I have with that kid is unbelievable. The things I went through with just me and Jellybean makes him something quite special and for a while him growing in my belly was the only thing that was getting me from one day to the next. When I started thinking about all those things as I watched him play next to me on the bed getting a kick out of me shaking my head and sticking out my tongue, the tears just started to flow. And somehow, when mom's in one of her hormonal moods and just needs a hug, he knows, and he lays comfortably next to me while I hug him and smother him in salty teary kisses.
Waiting for this labor to begin is such a double edged sword for me right now! I am impatient to meet my Tater Tot because I know all the wonderful things that will come our way. I'm already so in love with this kid in my belly and I can't wait to hold him and smell him and just stare at his sleeping face. At the same time, I cherish my cuddle time with Jellybean, my first born, the one that thrust me into motherhood in the first place, and holy cow am I happy in this new role as a mom.
So here we sit, at 38 weeks and 3 days.....impatient and yet wanting to prolong the way things are. Hormonal, uncomfortable, unsure, anxious, excited, EXHAUSTED..... I've found that before really great things, God likes to challenge us a little bit. Well, I'm being challenged, so I feel like there are some pretty great things around the corner. :)
This time around things are totally different. I'm 38 weeks and 3 days now and still waiting around for my little Tater Tot. Having Jellybean so early has put me on edge since I hit 36 weeks but this second boy of mine seems to be marching to the beat of his own drummer. I wonder if it will reflect in their personalities too? Jellybean is very impatient! Does this mean Tater Tot will be a little more level headed? Who knows.
I hope my water breaks so I know for sure it's time to go in, but that only happens to such a small percentage of women. Chances are, I'm going to have to just ride out the contraction wave until it gets unbearable. For the last two weeks now my contractions have become much more frequent. My hips are in so much pain. My lower back has started to hurt. My feet are more swollen. My pelvis feels like it's carrying the weight of 10 watermelons, not to mention trying to keep all 10 watermelons from falling out.
Every time a contraction comes, I get a little excited. Is this it? Will this set of contractions finally last and get worse and worse? Nope! They never get within 5 minutes of each other, they never last an hour, and they never get stronger and more painful. They're just uncomfortable and annoying. Part of me worries that I'm going to wait too long and not make it to the hospital or somehow harm my baby. I don't want to be the mom that cried wolf, or in this case, labor, and rush to L&D every time I think I'm having decent contractions. I'm waiting until they're so painful I can't really walk or talk through the pain....I hope my high pain tolerance doesn't hurt me in this case. But at the same time, I know what active labor contractions feel like. I was able to talk through them when I was in labor with Jellybean but the words coming out of my mouth were four letters long and not very appropriate. I can still carry an adult conversation when I'm going through these contractions, but it's been happening for 2 weeks now! What a tease.
When I go to bed at night and I'm having contractions I think....ok, maybe tonight's the night that I'll wake up in horrible pain and have to go to the hospital. But when I wake up to use the restroom and feel fine or when I wake up to get ready for work I'm disappointed that I made it through the night yet again.
Then there are nights like last night where the pregnancy hormones just get the best of me and I have a mini meltdown. I was laying in bed trying to "relax" though some mild contractions and cuddling with Jellybean and I thought to myself, what if tonight is his last night as an only child? What if this is our last night of silent silly playful cuddling where he's the only thing on my mind? I had such an emotional pregnancy with him that the bond I have with that kid is unbelievable. The things I went through with just me and Jellybean makes him something quite special and for a while him growing in my belly was the only thing that was getting me from one day to the next. When I started thinking about all those things as I watched him play next to me on the bed getting a kick out of me shaking my head and sticking out my tongue, the tears just started to flow. And somehow, when mom's in one of her hormonal moods and just needs a hug, he knows, and he lays comfortably next to me while I hug him and smother him in salty teary kisses.
Waiting for this labor to begin is such a double edged sword for me right now! I am impatient to meet my Tater Tot because I know all the wonderful things that will come our way. I'm already so in love with this kid in my belly and I can't wait to hold him and smell him and just stare at his sleeping face. At the same time, I cherish my cuddle time with Jellybean, my first born, the one that thrust me into motherhood in the first place, and holy cow am I happy in this new role as a mom.
So here we sit, at 38 weeks and 3 days.....impatient and yet wanting to prolong the way things are. Hormonal, uncomfortable, unsure, anxious, excited, EXHAUSTED..... I've found that before really great things, God likes to challenge us a little bit. Well, I'm being challenged, so I feel like there are some pretty great things around the corner. :)
Comments
Post a Comment