A Birth Story: Tater Tot

I can't believe I've had my little man in my arms for a whole week now. This time has FLOWN BY so quickly. I hate to think that time will continue to fly by and my boys will be grown up in no time. I'm learning to take the time to just live in the moment and enjoy my babies while they're still babies. I want to capture every memory so getting this birth story down ASAP has been a priority for me. I don't want to miss the details because I already feel like my brain is overflowing with thoughts and emotions and to do lists.

I had basically given up on thinking contractions would turn into labor and given into thinking that I'd most likely get induced. At 39 weeks and 1 day, I was already 3 weeks more pregnant than I was the first time and there were minimal signs that I would be going into labor any time soon. I searched the mommy forums for birth stories trying to find where my "symptoms" fit into those other moms who had their little ones to no avail. Therefore, I just decided quit thinking everything was a sign of labor and continue living life- taking care of my family and going to work. Everything was ready for Tater Tot's arrival anyway.

The morning of Tuesday, August 11, Jellybean woke up at around 0400 and Matt moved him into bed. He crawled to me, snuggled in my arms, and quickly fell asleep. I on the other hand stayed up just looking at him. As I looked at my sleeping baby, I thought of just how lucky I am to have such a sweet baby boy so eager to cuddle with me. It feels soooooooo good to have him want to hug me and snuggle in my arms. Before dozing off to sleep I decided to take my millionth trip to the bathroom that night. And then it happened again. I went to the bathroom, thought I was done, was walking back to bed, and.......I was still going to the bathroom. Well this was all too familiar. I went through a checklist of things I needed to do in my head before waking up Matt and telling him, "well, it's time, my water just broke." He seemed kind of in a daze like...what? now? are you serious? are you sure? Yes my dear husband, I'm sure. I'm walking and leaking, definitely water breaking. I told him to take his time, don't rush, because I wanted to shower and we couldn't drop JB off at daycare until 0600 anyway, by this time it was around 0500. I wasn't feeling any major contractions or anything and from experience, I knew I had some time.

We got JB ready for daycare, packed the car with my hospital bag and an overnight bag for JB just in case he had to stay at the neighbor's, fed our little man, and off we went to....McDonalds. I  love McDonalds breakfast. It's our go to meal whenever we're on a road trip and I can't remember the last time I had it. I knew I wouldn't be eating for a while so I wanted to make this "last meal" in a while worth it. Not to mention I'd be restricting my diet quite a bit once Tater Tot came so I could drop those pregnancy lbs! Matt still has no idea how much I gained total, that's only something my girlfriends get to know. ;)

We dropped off JB at daycare. I remember the look on the provider's face when she asked me how I'm doing and I said oh we're on our way to the hospital now all nonchalantly. She seemed to want to rush me more than I wanted to rush myself but I knew I had time.

When we finally got to L&D they checked and confirmed that my water had indeed broken. Yeah, I know, not my first rodeo here. Boy am I glad it broke too! I was stressing out over knowing if I was in real labor or not through contractions alone. Grateful that my water broke twice and made it so easy! They also confirmed that I was already 5cm dilated. Wow....half way there already? Maybe those contractions I had been feeling for weeks was actually doing something.

I told the nurses that we needed to have this baby by 1800 so that we could get our other kiddo before daycare closed. Sure it was jokingly but.... I was kind of serious too. My midwife said that we'd give it 6 hours and see how far dilated I was and if my contractions would pick up on their own before administering the pitocin. Come 6 hours later, my contractions were every 2-3 minutes but still bearable and I was 7cm dilated so they hooked me up to the pitocin. They "warned" me that the drug doesn't work on all women, but after my last experience, I knew I'd be hurting here in no time and I was right. Thirty minutes later those contractions were still 2-3 minutes apart but holy cow I was aching for that epidural! I held out for maybe an hour before I begged for the anesthesiologist.

What was Matt doing during this time? Some errands to make sure the house was in order and....eating snacks right in front of me. Rice krispies, jerky, whatever he could because he was hungry. You're hungry? I'm starving! But it was making me laugh so I wasn't hating on him too much. When it came time for the epidural he watched. I refuse to watch any videos on how they do epidurals. That first needle is what I dread the most. It hurts more than any contraction. The initial pain and then the BURNING oh my goodness it still makes me cringe. I absolutely HATE that first poke to get the epidural in. When the process was over Matt said he almost passed out and watching it made him sick but he couldn't look away. Shaking my head.... watching me push out a baby doesn't bother him but the epidural does? Yeah, that's why I don't want to know anything about how they do that whole process.

True to form, my body did not take to the epidural completely. I went completely numb from the waist down but I felt every single contraction. They gave me a little button to push to increase my epidural dosage and the nurses kept saying to push it when they saw how much pain I was in. Sorry ladies, but that "extra dose" wasn't doing anything! That's just how my body reacts to the drug I guess. But it's not all lose/lose, sure I felt the contractions and yeah it sucks and is horribly painful, but at least my lower body was numb and I couldn't feel myself pushing out a baby! Hunt the good stuff right? I will admit that during that process when the contractions felt like the worst thing ever, and thinking about the last weeks of uncomfortable pregnancy pains made me think that ok, I know I didn't rule out baby number 3 but I'm totally ruling out baby number 3 right now! I was done, this pain was too much and labor just isn't fun. By this time it was around 1430 and I had probably been in "active" labor for just a few hours. Was it really the end of the world in hindsight? No of course not but in that moment it was!

I was 10cm dilated at this point but my cervix still wasn't at 100%. So they kept turning me on my sides to apparently help the process. For some reason, my contractions are much worse on my left side than my right so when they put me on my left side, I was definitely hating life. Come 1500 they finally gave me the go ahead to start pushing. They kept asking me if I had pressure down there and felt like I needed to push, I kept saying I didn't know I needed to push last time and I don't know if I need to this time. My legs are totally limp and I can't feel ANYTHING. Fortunately it was time to push and less than ten minutes later..... my little man was out and in my arms. I did "feel" his head come out and eventually the rest of his body. It felt like....as I told my friends, a "sluuuurrrp" coming out of my body. TMI? Sorry. I feel so bad for moms that have to push for hours. I've been so fortunate that my "pushing" sessions have been so short.

When I saw Tater Tot for the first time, it was different than when I saw Jellybean. When I saw Jellybean I was completely overwhelmed  like, "I'm a mom now???" This time...it was, "I'm a mom again!" and I was so excited, overwhelmed with joy, and overflowing with love for this little boy that was all mine. They put him on my belly, Matt cut the cord (which was apparently wrapped around him twice), and just like that we were a family of FOUR. Thank you to the doctor and nurses for staying so calm during all that. I'm sure I would have been panicking had I know my little man was all wrapped up in his cord, and even when they told us they were so nonchalant about it that I didn't spend another second thinking about it.

Thomas Joel Moran was born August 11, 2015 at 1512L on Langely Air Force Base, Virginia. He weight 8 lbs 7 ounces and measured at just under 21 inches, so we'll say 21 inches.

This little man did such a good job following directions. I wanted to have him early in the week so we could take advantage of daycare while I was in the hospital. I wanted him born by 1800 so JB didn't have to spend the night at a neighbor's house and he came three hours before daycare closed.  I didn't want to play the contraction game...so he made sure my water broke. Thanks for being such a team player my little Tater Tot.

Matt picked up JB at daycare and brought him to the hospital. I was apprehensive about how big brother would do with his tiny baby bro but without even being prompted, my big boy was gentle, sweet, and kind! He transitioned from only child to big bro so smoothly, curious about this new little man in our lives but always gentle. He uses one finger to touch his baby brother's face (usually going for the eye.....so I try to get him to go for the cheek). But I'm grateful he uses one finger and always gentle touches. And he's eager to give baby bro kisses when asked to. He's already got "brother" down too, well, in his own special toddler-ese but it's clearly his word for brother.

That first night in the hospital I reflected on just how fortunate I am. I'm a mom of TWO. My friends pointed out I have CHILDREN now, not just a child. And it feels so good to say that. I'm 30 years old and have been blessed with two beautiful baby boys. Life couldn't be more sweet and full of more blessings at this moment.

To any moms worried about making room in your already full heart for yet another baby..... please don't be. It just happens. While I love the boys differently, I'm in the same place emotion-wise with Tater Tot as I was with JB at the one week mark. As we make memories together, that love I have I have for my second son will only blossom and continue to grow deeper as it did and still does, with his big brother. Love grows stronger every single day so it only makes sense that my heart just continues to make room for a deeper love for not one, but two babies. So excited to be a mom of boys, both under the age of two. And even more excited that I have been trusted by God to raise yet another wonderful human being. This little boy was born into such a great family. Not only will mom and dad love him and work to provide for him, but his extended family, and our friends, are already head over heels in love with this special bundle of joy. And of course he's got the best big brother ever, and on the flip side, JB has the best little brother ever.

Note: I lost my rainbows when I had JB. They just disappeared. This time, I arrived at the hospital in cheap Old Navy flip flops. One of those disappeared. How in the world is it possible that I keep losing my shoes when I have babies??

Our last family picture as just a threesome! Dropping JB at daycare so we can have TT. 

Waiting for them to "confirm" I hadn't just peed myself. 

Ok yeah....I made sure to bring my makeup and do my face before delivery. I mean, there are pictures to be taken here. 

Waiting for you my Tater Tot. And my pre-swollen face....can't believe how much post partum swelling I have. 

Still waiting...and watching TV. 

Snapped this mid contraction. About 30 seconds later he was holding my hand as I was saying words my TT probably shouldn't hear. 

His little hands were blue. They turned pink pretty quick though. 

What pain? It literally just disappears and all that I'm never having kids again goes away as soon as that baby is in your arms. 

Can't believe how chunky he was! We'll get you back up to that chunk level with mama's milk TT. 

And notice that my face is starting to swell..... still all smiles though. 

Father and Son....oh the trouble you two will get into. :/ 

Baby toes, my fave. :) 

First moments together. 

Happy new (again) parents! 

JB meting his baby brother for the first time. 

JIMMY JOHNS. I've been craving a beach club forever but couldn't have it while pregnant. I had JJ's twice in the hospital and one of my Airmen got me a gift card to JJ's as a baby gift because I forbade my flight from having JJ's in front of me while I couldn't.... 

He was being a little whine-y but my heart is still so full being a mom to these two adorable boys.