Life with 2 Under 2.....So far
Oh My Crazy Life
I didn't really spend too much time planning how in the world I was going to handle two children so young. I've come to learn that somehow, moms just figure it out because we have to. And while planning details is something that I feel like I HAVE to do all the time, this one just seemed a little too overwhelming and I was counting on my super mommy skills to get me through it. I figure that in no time, after this transition process, we won't even know what life without such young kiddos would be like anyway. This lifestyle will become OUR lifestyle, we'll get used to it, and figure it out as we go along.
This first week and a half has been a whirl wind adventure, full of learning, some crying, some yelling, but lots of hugs and kisses. It helps that Matt is home on paternity leave and it helps that we have daycare for JB during the week. I can't even imagine how a stay at home mom with a working husband would do it. I can't wrap my head around it! Talk about exhausting. THOSE women are seriously my heroes, in my eyes, they are the epitome of super mom. That job has to be a billion times harder than being a working mom, because when I go to work, I get a "breather." I can shut my office door, turn on the radio, pull out my phone, and just take a few moments for some "me" time. Stay at home moms with more than one kid? Nap time = chore time, so when is "me" time? Oh they don't get one. While I envy that they get to spend so much time with their kids and get to take a huge role in their child's development, while working moms like me have to rely on daycare to do tummy time, etc, I am sometimes, with very much guilt in my heart, eager to get my little one to daycare so I can have a moment alone with my thoughts.....a moment that isn't at 3 in the morning when the other one is up and nursing. But the working mom life is what I'm used to, just like the stay at home mom life is what those moms are used to. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. I like working, and while I plan to get out of the military so I don't have to worry about TDYs or deployments away from my children, I still want to have a career, to challenge myself, to push my own limits outside the mom world.
Anyway, back to my crazy home life. Matt and I basically tag team everything. You have one kid, I have the other. Ok switch! We've been lucky in that they both haven't had too many melt downs at the same time. I have noticed that JB's meltdowns are much more frequent now, I think he's yearning for the type of attention he used to get. Fortunately, TT doesn't have too many meltdowns as long as he's fed, warm, clean, and being held. The other good thing is JB doesn't take his frustrations out on his brother. He is always so very gentle with him, granted there's the occasional eye poke here and there but it's always out of curiosity and never out of malice or jealousy. I had a meltdown of my own a few days ago. I was holding TT while Matt was in charge of JB. But JB was just running around the house looking bored and looking for trouble. I broke down to Matt saying that our little man needs more interaction not just making sure he's safe and not hurting himself interaction. I used to take that role on, teaching him, reading to him, chasing him, making him laugh, but I obviously can't do that as much now that I have another one. And sure I just needed to vocalize to Matt that I needed him to help take on that role too and stop watching TV or being on the internet so much, but instead, I cried and cried and cried about it all night, feeling so guilty that my little man wasn't getting from mom what he used to get and angry at Matt for not just doing it on his own without me having to tell him. Talk about pregnancy hormones running wild! Even after I got all that off my chest, I couldn't stop crying for the rest of the night. I'm sure it won't be the last time and I'm sure there will be plenty of times that my boys and I will all just be crying together. Nobody expects it to be easy with a toddler and a newborn! I'm dreading the times Matt will have to travel for work and I'll be alone with the two of them after work and on the weekends. I have no idea how I'll pull it off, but I know I'll figure it out....because that's what moms do.
Nights aren't too bad. I'm actually not feeling zombie like all the time. Sure there are some days when I am, but I just take TT and we cuddle in bed and I take a nap with him and wake up feeling a little more refreshed. Our bedtime routine is, I feed Tater Tot and give him to Matt who stays downstairs with him and watches TV or YouTubes or whatever it is that hubby of mine likes to do. I take JB upstairs with me and we cuddle in bed until he falls asleep. Yes, I still cuddle him to sleep. I absolutely love that time of day- except when he' so tired he's throwing a tantrum till he falls asleep! But that only happens once maybe twice a week. The rest of the time he's sweet and nuzzling up against me and for a few moments during the day, he gets treated like an only child again and gets my undivided attention. When he's off to dreamland, I put him in the Pack N Play at the foot of our bed. I go back downstairs to hang out with Matt if he hasn't already come upstairs with TT then the three of us get ready for bed. Yes, I'm co-sleeping with this one too! Matt was pretty adamant about treating TT the same way we treated JB, with co-sleeping and everything. I tried to put him in the bassinet the first night but it was actually Matt who wasn't having any of it. Surprised me too. At 0400-0500 JB wakes up and Matt moves him to the bed. Yes, all FOUR OF US sleep in our bed until around 0630-0700 when it's time to start our day. Tater Tot sleeps on my chest, JB sleeps nuzzled up against my chest and armpit with my arm under him (he HAS to have my arm under him), and Matt sleeps nuzzled up next to JB. If JB is teething or having a particularly difficult night-usually teething related he has a molar and canine coming in- Matt loses his cool, starts yelling at him or whatever so the burden of keeping both babies happy at night falls on me. Maybe one day Matt will learn to control his temper, or at least understand that our "older" child is still very much s baby himself.
We actually get more sleep co-sleeping. Matt's job is to make sure JB doesn't wake up from TT's crying for nursing or during a diaper change. My job is nursing and diaper changing TT. He only nurses for about 10 minutes before falling sleep again, and then he's good to go for the next 2-3 hours. There's no fighting to get him to sleep because I'm holding him and drifting off while mom is holding him is pretty easy in that little man's world. So every 2-3 hours, I'm up for maybe 15 minutes, which isn't that bad.
The thing I'm struggling with now though is.....when in the world do Matt and I have time for each other??! Oh we don't? I see us taking leave for at least a day or two when TT can start daycare. I won't lie, I miss my husband. We sneak in hugs here and there and make a big show if it sometimes for JB, we believe that the more we can get our kids to think ewwwww gross my parents like each other, the better it is for them, and us too. Anyway, we can sneak in a few moments but we're either holding a newborn or chasing a toddler. Mom and Dad time will just have to wait for a few more weeks, but I am looking forward to having it back! I miss my husband :(
Because this time is so crazy, between doctor's appointments, keeping the fridge stocked, making meals, ferrying JB to daycare and back, attending a few work functions, this time is going by so fast! I can't believe TT is almost two weeks old already. I feel like I JUST had him. And that makes me so sad. The crazier our life gets, the faster it's flying by. But it's getting crazy because we have another wonderful child to look after....which is a good thing....but time zipping by us....not quite a good thing! I want to cherish this time with my little ones, while I can still literally call them little ones. The struggles us parents have to go through, its one big huge emotional roller coaster, and I never want it to stop. :)
I didn't really spend too much time planning how in the world I was going to handle two children so young. I've come to learn that somehow, moms just figure it out because we have to. And while planning details is something that I feel like I HAVE to do all the time, this one just seemed a little too overwhelming and I was counting on my super mommy skills to get me through it. I figure that in no time, after this transition process, we won't even know what life without such young kiddos would be like anyway. This lifestyle will become OUR lifestyle, we'll get used to it, and figure it out as we go along.
This first week and a half has been a whirl wind adventure, full of learning, some crying, some yelling, but lots of hugs and kisses. It helps that Matt is home on paternity leave and it helps that we have daycare for JB during the week. I can't even imagine how a stay at home mom with a working husband would do it. I can't wrap my head around it! Talk about exhausting. THOSE women are seriously my heroes, in my eyes, they are the epitome of super mom. That job has to be a billion times harder than being a working mom, because when I go to work, I get a "breather." I can shut my office door, turn on the radio, pull out my phone, and just take a few moments for some "me" time. Stay at home moms with more than one kid? Nap time = chore time, so when is "me" time? Oh they don't get one. While I envy that they get to spend so much time with their kids and get to take a huge role in their child's development, while working moms like me have to rely on daycare to do tummy time, etc, I am sometimes, with very much guilt in my heart, eager to get my little one to daycare so I can have a moment alone with my thoughts.....a moment that isn't at 3 in the morning when the other one is up and nursing. But the working mom life is what I'm used to, just like the stay at home mom life is what those moms are used to. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. I like working, and while I plan to get out of the military so I don't have to worry about TDYs or deployments away from my children, I still want to have a career, to challenge myself, to push my own limits outside the mom world.
Anyway, back to my crazy home life. Matt and I basically tag team everything. You have one kid, I have the other. Ok switch! We've been lucky in that they both haven't had too many melt downs at the same time. I have noticed that JB's meltdowns are much more frequent now, I think he's yearning for the type of attention he used to get. Fortunately, TT doesn't have too many meltdowns as long as he's fed, warm, clean, and being held. The other good thing is JB doesn't take his frustrations out on his brother. He is always so very gentle with him, granted there's the occasional eye poke here and there but it's always out of curiosity and never out of malice or jealousy. I had a meltdown of my own a few days ago. I was holding TT while Matt was in charge of JB. But JB was just running around the house looking bored and looking for trouble. I broke down to Matt saying that our little man needs more interaction not just making sure he's safe and not hurting himself interaction. I used to take that role on, teaching him, reading to him, chasing him, making him laugh, but I obviously can't do that as much now that I have another one. And sure I just needed to vocalize to Matt that I needed him to help take on that role too and stop watching TV or being on the internet so much, but instead, I cried and cried and cried about it all night, feeling so guilty that my little man wasn't getting from mom what he used to get and angry at Matt for not just doing it on his own without me having to tell him. Talk about pregnancy hormones running wild! Even after I got all that off my chest, I couldn't stop crying for the rest of the night. I'm sure it won't be the last time and I'm sure there will be plenty of times that my boys and I will all just be crying together. Nobody expects it to be easy with a toddler and a newborn! I'm dreading the times Matt will have to travel for work and I'll be alone with the two of them after work and on the weekends. I have no idea how I'll pull it off, but I know I'll figure it out....because that's what moms do.
Nights aren't too bad. I'm actually not feeling zombie like all the time. Sure there are some days when I am, but I just take TT and we cuddle in bed and I take a nap with him and wake up feeling a little more refreshed. Our bedtime routine is, I feed Tater Tot and give him to Matt who stays downstairs with him and watches TV or YouTubes or whatever it is that hubby of mine likes to do. I take JB upstairs with me and we cuddle in bed until he falls asleep. Yes, I still cuddle him to sleep. I absolutely love that time of day- except when he' so tired he's throwing a tantrum till he falls asleep! But that only happens once maybe twice a week. The rest of the time he's sweet and nuzzling up against me and for a few moments during the day, he gets treated like an only child again and gets my undivided attention. When he's off to dreamland, I put him in the Pack N Play at the foot of our bed. I go back downstairs to hang out with Matt if he hasn't already come upstairs with TT then the three of us get ready for bed. Yes, I'm co-sleeping with this one too! Matt was pretty adamant about treating TT the same way we treated JB, with co-sleeping and everything. I tried to put him in the bassinet the first night but it was actually Matt who wasn't having any of it. Surprised me too. At 0400-0500 JB wakes up and Matt moves him to the bed. Yes, all FOUR OF US sleep in our bed until around 0630-0700 when it's time to start our day. Tater Tot sleeps on my chest, JB sleeps nuzzled up against my chest and armpit with my arm under him (he HAS to have my arm under him), and Matt sleeps nuzzled up next to JB. If JB is teething or having a particularly difficult night-usually teething related he has a molar and canine coming in- Matt loses his cool, starts yelling at him or whatever so the burden of keeping both babies happy at night falls on me. Maybe one day Matt will learn to control his temper, or at least understand that our "older" child is still very much s baby himself.
We actually get more sleep co-sleeping. Matt's job is to make sure JB doesn't wake up from TT's crying for nursing or during a diaper change. My job is nursing and diaper changing TT. He only nurses for about 10 minutes before falling sleep again, and then he's good to go for the next 2-3 hours. There's no fighting to get him to sleep because I'm holding him and drifting off while mom is holding him is pretty easy in that little man's world. So every 2-3 hours, I'm up for maybe 15 minutes, which isn't that bad.
The thing I'm struggling with now though is.....when in the world do Matt and I have time for each other??! Oh we don't? I see us taking leave for at least a day or two when TT can start daycare. I won't lie, I miss my husband. We sneak in hugs here and there and make a big show if it sometimes for JB, we believe that the more we can get our kids to think ewwwww gross my parents like each other, the better it is for them, and us too. Anyway, we can sneak in a few moments but we're either holding a newborn or chasing a toddler. Mom and Dad time will just have to wait for a few more weeks, but I am looking forward to having it back! I miss my husband :(
Because this time is so crazy, between doctor's appointments, keeping the fridge stocked, making meals, ferrying JB to daycare and back, attending a few work functions, this time is going by so fast! I can't believe TT is almost two weeks old already. I feel like I JUST had him. And that makes me so sad. The crazier our life gets, the faster it's flying by. But it's getting crazy because we have another wonderful child to look after....which is a good thing....but time zipping by us....not quite a good thing! I want to cherish this time with my little ones, while I can still literally call them little ones. The struggles us parents have to go through, its one big huge emotional roller coaster, and I never want it to stop. :)
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| Saturday morning cuddle sessions. These boys are too cute. |
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| Hanging out with JB before he goes to bed. One of my favorite things to do :) |
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| He is so excited about having his little bro around. |
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| The pile of diapers we accumulate overnight....I'm too lazy to walk them to the diaper pail in the laundry room. |
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| He is always willing to give his baby bro kisses. |
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| Coming home from the hospital |
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| First time in the car seat. Oh my goodness he's small. |
You're amazing momma. That's all. ❤️
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