A New Adventure
It still blows my mind when I think about how much my oldest kid has grown in such a short amount of time. When I look at Tater Tot and then I look at Jellybean, I'm amazed at how a person can go from so small and completely dependent on mom for EVERYTHING to..... well what I have now, one crazy toddler. The amount of growing and learning they do in such a short amount of time is so incredible. It really makes me appreciate just how precious this time with my little one is. While I don't want to Kardashian up the word literally, it literally feels like my children are growing up significantly in just the blink of an eye. I feel like Jellybean was just Tater Tot's age, like I said, mind blown. We've been through a lot with that oldest of mine and I have a billion memories to cherish already. How can so many memories be created in a blink? Well I suppose when you love someone that much, EVERY moment becomes a cherished memory.
While today isn't exactly my last day on maternity leave, Tater Tot will start daycare tomorrow. I thought it would easier this second time around, but I'm already dreading it! It's a different kind of dread though. The first time was "traumatizing" for me because it was my first born going to daycare! The first time he would be away from me and in the care of someone else. This time around, I am fully aware of just how great the daycare facility is on base. I have no issues with leaving Tater Tot there because I know what to expect now. What makes me so sad today and I'm sure even more sad tomorrow, is me dropping him off at daycare will mark the beginning of a chain of events that I feel will launch my baby boy into growing up, just like his big brother. Daycare, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, standing up, walking, talking, tantrums..... and i feel like it all starts tomorrow. It's irrational I know, because it seems like I'm saying if I don't take him to daycare I'll somehow stop his growing up. Wouldn't that be wonderful?? I sure think it would be, ok not stop it but slow it down considerably. I'm enjoying my sweet baby just way too much right now!
So today, while I could be doing a ton of things, I think I'm just going to stay in bed and snuggle with my baby and enjoy my time with him while he's still a baby. I'm also dreading just how exactly I'm going to manage my time between my two kids once I start working again. I'm anxious to get back to work, lets face it, staying at home with not much to do but clean and cook and watch Netflix marathons isn't for me. I need more to work towards but balancing that need within me and spending time with my kids is daunting to me. I'll drop the kids off at daycare by 0700 and then we'll be home after work and the gym at around 1730 maybe 1800. That gives me maybe 2 hours before Jellybean has to go to bed. Two hours with Jellybean was something I got used to before, but now that I have to take care of both kids in that time? I barely have any time with my children during the week! It's really depressing me. So how do I find a way to have a career and satisfy the part of me that wants to work and wants to stay challenged while being the mom I hope to be?
These past 6 weeks have flown by so quickly. My newborn has grown so much already in just this time. He's grown at least an inch and gained over 3 pounds. His neck control continues to impress me and I think we're finally beating that baby acne. He's still cute with or without it anyway. What continues to get to me though is seeing the boys interact with each other. While sitting on the stairs this morning I put Jellybean next to me and placed Tater Tot in his arms (while still holding him of course). The smile on big brother's .... I wish I could explain how it made me feel but there just aren't any words.
While today isn't exactly my last day on maternity leave, Tater Tot will start daycare tomorrow. I thought it would easier this second time around, but I'm already dreading it! It's a different kind of dread though. The first time was "traumatizing" for me because it was my first born going to daycare! The first time he would be away from me and in the care of someone else. This time around, I am fully aware of just how great the daycare facility is on base. I have no issues with leaving Tater Tot there because I know what to expect now. What makes me so sad today and I'm sure even more sad tomorrow, is me dropping him off at daycare will mark the beginning of a chain of events that I feel will launch my baby boy into growing up, just like his big brother. Daycare, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, standing up, walking, talking, tantrums..... and i feel like it all starts tomorrow. It's irrational I know, because it seems like I'm saying if I don't take him to daycare I'll somehow stop his growing up. Wouldn't that be wonderful?? I sure think it would be, ok not stop it but slow it down considerably. I'm enjoying my sweet baby just way too much right now!
So today, while I could be doing a ton of things, I think I'm just going to stay in bed and snuggle with my baby and enjoy my time with him while he's still a baby. I'm also dreading just how exactly I'm going to manage my time between my two kids once I start working again. I'm anxious to get back to work, lets face it, staying at home with not much to do but clean and cook and watch Netflix marathons isn't for me. I need more to work towards but balancing that need within me and spending time with my kids is daunting to me. I'll drop the kids off at daycare by 0700 and then we'll be home after work and the gym at around 1730 maybe 1800. That gives me maybe 2 hours before Jellybean has to go to bed. Two hours with Jellybean was something I got used to before, but now that I have to take care of both kids in that time? I barely have any time with my children during the week! It's really depressing me. So how do I find a way to have a career and satisfy the part of me that wants to work and wants to stay challenged while being the mom I hope to be?
These past 6 weeks have flown by so quickly. My newborn has grown so much already in just this time. He's grown at least an inch and gained over 3 pounds. His neck control continues to impress me and I think we're finally beating that baby acne. He's still cute with or without it anyway. What continues to get to me though is seeing the boys interact with each other. While sitting on the stairs this morning I put Jellybean next to me and placed Tater Tot in his arms (while still holding him of course). The smile on big brother's .... I wish I could explain how it made me feel but there just aren't any words.
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